THE IMPORTANCE OF STAYING IN TOUCH

To the average observer, I probably appear to be a social butterfly. I enjoy being with people. I'm always up for a party. I especially enjoy laughing. I feel like I can fit in most anywhere...with various types of people.

That being said, I'm actually kind of private. I'm a homebody. Although I have many friends, my close circle of friends is always extremely small. I don't tend to let too many people get too close. I don't think I purposefully keep people at arm's length -- I've just always been wired that way.

Okay, before this starts to sound like a counseling couch session, let me back up to 1992.

I moved to Montgomery, AL with my first husband "T" (well, we'll call him "T" in lieu of some OTHER choice names we COULD call him. cough. cough.) But I digress...

We quickly became involved in a great church. We wasted no time jumping right in. We hit it off with another young couple. It was apparent almost immediately that we had loads in common with Chris and Leah. They were close to our age, came from similar backgrounds and were newlyweds like us. We originally bonded over our brand new puppies. As fate would have it, they had a cocker spaniel puppy the same age as the one that we had recently purchased. Silly as it may sound, we got together for play dates, much the way young couples bring their preschool kids together so the "grown folk" can have a few minutes of peace.

You couldn't not love Chris and Leah. They were funny and vivacious. Talented. Caring. Unselfish. Full of life.

Leah and I felt like "soul sisters" because we had grown up with fathers in the military. We had even lived in some of the same places and each had a younger sister named Jennifer.

Chris, Leah, "T" and I all sang together on the praise team at our church. They were both SO talented. Leah had a beautiful voice. Chris was a great drummer. We spent countless hours listening to music together. It was always the topic of conversation whenever we got together.

We took numerous road trips together. When "T" and I bought a brand new tiny convertible, we even found a way to cram all four of us into that miniature roller-skate-of-a-car to tool around Montgomery.

As flat broke newlyweds, we found pleasure in the little things. It wasn't unusual for us to rush to McDonald's whenever we would find out they were bringin' back the McRib!

Chris and Leah were especially good to me when "T" decided to make a quick exit from our marriage. They took me under their wing. I moved in with them. They wept with me. They prayed with me. They were truly like a brother and sister. There was nothing that I couldn't talk with them about. I allowed myself to become close to the two of them in a way that I wouldn't normally do. They never made me feel like a pathetic third wheel.

I'll never forget when I first chose to move back here to SC to get away from the scene of the crime (aka-the divorce). I missed them terribly. My mom called them and asked if they'd be willing to come make a surprise visit and lift my spirits. Lift my spirits they did! That sweet couple literally scraped together rolls of dimes--just enough to buy gas for the six hour drive here--and showed up on my doorstep. No questions asked. True friends.

Life began to normalize again. I got remarried and busy (they immediately loved and accepted David). They moved to Nashville, had a couple of babies, started their own business and got busy. As is the case with so many friends, we all but lost touch.

LEAH AND MALLORY

CHRIS AND MILLER

Luckily, Leah and I got back in contact at the beginning of this year. It was great!!! (Frankly, it was as if we'd never been apart.) We enjoyed catching up via e-mail. We both agreed that we wouldn't let so much time lapse with no contact again. They had recently moved to the Phoenix area and were happy. They both had carefree sprits and were always up for an adventure. Their gorgeous children were now 6 and 4.

Leah and I e-mailed every day during American Idol season...we couldn't wait to compare notes. She would list each of their favorites each week:
CHRIS liked Chris (because he was the rocker)
LEAH liked Chris (because he was the rocker. Oh, and, um, CUTE!!)
MILLER liked Bucky (so thaaaat was Bucky's one fan!)
MALLORY liked...anyone who wasn't a boy. (In true 4-year-old fashion, she only wanted a non-cootie-carrying girl to win.)

Leah and I both shared a love for clothes and shopping. We immediately compared notes when the newest issue of Lucky magazine arrived. As children of the 80s, we both took a bold stand that we would NOT fall for the fact that designers are now calling leggings "footless tights" and trying to get away with it. We wondered what was next...bad spiral perms and "mall bangs" coated with a can of Aqua Net?!!

I found it odd that I couldn't get a response from Leah recently. It just wasn't like her to not respond to my e-mails. As fate would have it, out of curiosity I Googled her name last Tuesday morning.

That's when it appeared. THE article. The article that made the blood drain from my face. FAMILY KILLED IN FIERY CRASH REMEMBERED.

There's no way to describe the feeling that surged through my body. Absolute nausea. I couldn't get the words out when I called David--only sobs.

How could a family of four be instantly wiped out?!!!

As they sat at a red light in their minivan (on the way to church) a car (going 70 mph) rammed them from behind. They were thrown into a concrete wall and the car burned.

I still can't say I've digested the news. Although this actually happened a few months ago, it feels as fresh (to me) as if it were last week.

Chris and Leah only lived to be 36 and 34...but man...what they did with those few short years was priceless. They loved. They gave. They laughed. They created art. They lived.

I'll never regret "opening up" and allowing them into my life and heart.